Unconventional: A New Way Forward — Post #1

It’s been a while since I last shared my thoughts here, and for that I owe you more
than an apology. Life has a way of interrupting our rhythm. Things happen—sometimes good,
sometimes heartbreaking—and if we’re truly awake to the world around us, we can’t help but
be shaken.

I’ve always called myself unconventional. That word fits me with both a degree of pride but also some caution. PRIDE, 
because it means I’ve chosen to think differently, live differently, and challenge conventional norms.
CAUTION, because being unconventional unsettles people. It makes them ask questions: Who
is this guy? Where does he stand on faith, values, health, family? Why does he see the world
this way? Is he on the level? Is he authentic? Can we trust him?

The truth is, for more than six years I’ve been walking through a journey no one chooses—the
loss of someone I loved more than life itself. That wound is permanent. I don’t want to “get
over it,” because love that deep doesn’t vanish. What I’ve chosen instead is to learn how to
live forward with it. To appreciate the blessings that came from that relationship, and to let
them keep shaping me.

Do I get it right all the time? Not even close. I mess up, I make poor choices, and I stumble. But
I’ve also been given incredible lessons, priceless second chances, and gifts that come only
from choosing what’s right.

Yes, I’ve written a book. Yes, I host a podcast. Yes, I speak to audiences. But underneath all
of that, I’m totally human—broken, blessed, learning, and still moving forward. My experiences don’t
make me better than anyone else, but they do allow me to understand pain, resilience, and
hope in a more personal way.

A dear friend once reminded me that not everyone is meant to agree with or even like you—and that’s okay.
What matters is honesty. Authenticity. Speaking directly to those who do understand, those
who resonate with your heart. That’s what this blog is about.

Simon Sinek says to always know your why. Mine is simple: when I could have chosen to stop
moving forward, I chose life instead. I chose to believe there was still purpose ahead of me.
That choice, and the practices that sustain it, are what I’ll be sharing here.

Some of what I write will resonate. Some of it may ruffle feathers. That’s fine. What matters is
that it sparks conversation, reflection, and connection. Because if my story helps even one
person take a step forward, then we walk that road together.

My name is John. I’m unconventional—by design. And this is my new way forward.
Until next time, thank you for being here.

UNCONVENTIONAL: The New Way Forward

Scars, Legacy, and Living Forward

Grief leaves a scar.

Not the kind you can cover with a bandage, but the kind etched deep into your heart. People often say, “time heals all wounds.” And yes, sometimes time does help. A small cut on the skin might fade completely, leaving no trace. But deeper wounds? They close, yet they leave scars—reminders of what was lost, what was endured, and what was loved.

When my wife, Donna, died, I didn’t just lose the most extraordinary partner of my life. I experienced what I call permanent injury. Just like in my years working with insurance claims, where a person could recover but still be left with a lasting impairment, grief works the same way. You reach a point of improvement, but not a full return to “before.”

And that’s okay.

Because scars, while painful, also tell a story. They remind us not only of what was broken but also of the strength it took to mend.

The Power of a Word

Back in 2017, Donna and I decided to abandon New Year’s resolutions. Instead, we chose a power word—a word that would guide our actions, intentions, and growth. That word was RESOLVE.

RESOLVE became more than a word. It became a blueprint:

• Resilience

• Engagement

• Service

• Organization

• Learning

• Vision

• Enthusiasm

Day by day, practicing these behaviors gave me a framework to keep moving forward, even after loss. It didn’t erase the scar, but it gave me strength to live with it—and to live beyond it.

Two-Thirds of a Life Well Lived

Donna and I shared 46 years together—two-thirds of my life by the time she passed, just a week before my 69th birthday. Those years were filled with joy, challenges, laughter, and love. And while I can never go back to what was, I can honor her legacy by how I live now.

At 75, I refuse to be stereotyped as “done.” I stumble, I fall into dark moments, but with faith, friendship, and RESOLVE, I rise again. I remind myself daily: living forward is not passive—it requires a definite, firm plan of action.

Living Forward, One Step at a Time

Healing from deep loss doesn’t mean erasing the past. It means building on it. It means stepping—sometimes haltingly, sometimes boldly—into a new chapter.

You don’t need to have it all figured out. You just need to take the next step. Then the one after that. And the one after that.

That’s what I want to share through this blog: the truth that life after loss can still be meaningful, vibrant, and yes—unconventional.

Because I’m not done. You’re not done. And together, with the right mindset, we can all find a new way forward.

Until next time,
John